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  • Beeb are quick on the draw - BelfastTelegraph.co.uk
    stop what you re doing because there s only one place to be said Mohammad Indeed Lyon where Northern Ireland play Ukraine It s a dog s dinner for us said Lawrenson after the Republic were paired with Italy Belgium and Sweden but take the hangdog look off your face I ve checked Ireland have seven Eurovision wins on their own and the other three have 10 between them and they don t have a dramatic dug out No one had mentioned England were to play Wales for at least four seconds so Hartson quickly rectified that It s a mouth watering tie to come up against England we beat them in the rugby we ve just got to try and do it in the football now he said Pity it s a different sport isn t it Lawro helpfully added while the rest of us thought would you shut up about rugby and talk about football Mohammad played ball and turned to Ward Jamie not Tony From a player s point of perspective it s all about staying fit in to final end of the season he mused Definitely it s about running away from the ball from March time onwards he joked while a message was relayed to Salford west London and the red bit of Liverpool that it was okay to run after the ball now We needed a bit of sense and perspective and we were about to get it back in France as JP had tracked down England coach Roy Hodgson It s such a lottery really when the guy takes the ball out of the pot and twirls it around and your name comes out of it he said and gave us all a text book description of a draw JP then subjected Martin O Neill pictured looking dramatic to vigorous questioning I know you re a great fan of the mysteries and the thrillers how do you plan a route through this maze he asked the Republic boss It is a bit of a maze and we ll get down to plotting something came the reply but like Ward he only mentioned the Troubles once and I think he got away with it Michael O Neill put his hands up and admitted they had a tough group words last used by Hannibal Smith in the A Team but I m sure he has a plan that will all come together as long as they all get on the plane but then those pesky Russians were at it again Although this time it was the Welsh who started it Mohammad referring to a previous defeat in 2003 with there s a little bit of bad blood between Wales and Russia Well we owe Russia one don t we waded in Hartson They re a bigger country than us but this is a bit of payback as Dame Shirley was dusted off to be dropped into the Urals to terrorise the locals Wales will be

    Original URL path: http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/sport/columnists/billy-on-the-box/beeb-are-quick-on-the-draw-34293968.html (2016-02-15)
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  • Heaven knows they're all miserable now as United crash - BelfastTelegraph.co.uk
    van Gaal said Man United did not have the quality to win the Champions League and ultimately he was proved right said a playful Lineker only to open up already tender wounds United look like an average team and with an average team you get average performances said above average Scholes No surprise was the unsurprisingly dull response from Owen It doesn t feel like a disaster to me because I m not surprised concluded Scholes and everyone agreed that United had indeed passed their omission test at the home of Volkswagen Bring on the Europa League Thursday night glamour Make the most of it lads the way it s going the LGV Trophy may be the only one LVG gets United to Follow BelTel Sport How to Complain If you have a complaint about the editorial content of the Belfast Telegraph or Sunday Life then contact the Editor here If you are not satisfied with the response provided then you can contact the Independent Press Standards Organisation here From the web Sponsored Videos Your Comments COMMENT RULES Comments that are judged to be defamatory abusive or in bad taste are not acceptable and contributors who consistently fall below certain criteria will be permanently blacklisted The moderator will not enter into debate with individual contributors and the moderator s decision is final It is Belfast Telegraph policy to close comments on court cases tribunals and active legal investigations We may also close comments on articles which are being targeted for abuse Problems with commenting customercare belfasttelegraph co uk Powered by Livefyre Please enable JavaScript to view the comments powered by Livefyre Read More Dour Denver Broncos are sitting on top of the world after Super bowl win By Billy Weir As Europe s rugby finest battled it out for supremacy on the other side of the globe two groups of Americans locked horns to become poor man s rugby s world champions Six Nations a space oddity for the BBC and Tim Peake By Billy Weir A new season new managers a new channel new presenters and even a new frontier the Six Nations rugby is back but one old thing remains no matter who is playing you can guarantee England will Frost nosed celebrities can just go and take a jump By Billy Weir They came they saw they slid about a bit fell over wore daft outfits didn t conquer and they ll be back again next week Yes The Jump is back Being Butch helps in search for romance of the FA Cup By Billy Weir The FA Cup took centre stage at the weekend with the minnows given the chance to go Fourth and multiply but as it turned out the big fish had little to worry about Most Read Most Shared Most Commented Six Nations a space oddity for the BBC and Tim Peake Billy on the box He may be retired but champion jockey AP McCoy isn t shy Billy on the box A

    Original URL path: http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/sport/columnists/billy-on-the-box/heaven-knows-theyre-all-miserable-now-as-united-crash-34274426.html (2016-02-15)
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  • Crew shivered by Timbers as Sky turn off Hollywood glitz - BelfastTelegraph.co.uk
    the net Things could only get better They didn t Six minutes later it was 2 0 as the Timber Army went into raptures when Rodney Wallace no not that one scored a second but by then I had been distracted by one of his team mates with possibly the best name since the beginning of time or 1776 depending on where you re from Darlington Nagbe part Liberian part American part wet and windy place in the north of England was very impressive and cheered on by his brothers Hartlepool and Whitley Bay while his other sibling Carlisle was busy with a mop and Desmond in Cumbria The Columbus Crew would have been right at home in Blighty but despite pulling a goal back they were left with that sinking feeling and would probably drown their sorrows with a few Pintas that evening That joke can be traced back to 1492 now that s tradition Ridgewell with a gargantuan header away screamed Wilson and let s face it we all know a few of them and the rock steady defender was just too good for the Crew That joke dates back to 1984 when the MLS or Darlington hadn t even been thought of The Timbers weren t even saplings back then but as Wilson concluded before we slipped back out of view on Sky historic euphoric scenes to savour for a lifetime for Portland Timbers No doubt they were dancing on the log strewn streets of Oregon on Sunday night another glorious chapter in seven years of history I have pants older than that although in fairness I have ones older than the Crew as well A bit like US history and hyperbole best give them a wide berth Follow BelTel Sport How to Complain If you have a complaint about the editorial content of the Belfast Telegraph or Sunday Life then contact the Editor here If you are not satisfied with the response provided then you can contact the Independent Press Standards Organisation here From the web Sponsored Videos Your Comments COMMENT RULES Comments that are judged to be defamatory abusive or in bad taste are not acceptable and contributors who consistently fall below certain criteria will be permanently blacklisted The moderator will not enter into debate with individual contributors and the moderator s decision is final It is Belfast Telegraph policy to close comments on court cases tribunals and active legal investigations We may also close comments on articles which are being targeted for abuse Problems with commenting customercare belfasttelegraph co uk Powered by Livefyre Please enable JavaScript to view the comments powered by Livefyre Read More Dour Denver Broncos are sitting on top of the world after Super bowl win By Billy Weir As Europe s rugby finest battled it out for supremacy on the other side of the globe two groups of Americans locked horns to become poor man s rugby s world champions Six Nations a space oddity for the BBC and Tim

    Original URL path: http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/sport/columnists/billy-on-the-box/crew-shivered-by-timbers-as-sky-turn-off-hollywood-glitz-34274427.html (2016-02-15)
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  • Glory for Tyson Fury, but no victory for Nelson - BelfastTelegraph.co.uk
    favourites the lime and mandarin ones he corrected himself and turned to tactics instead Light the touch paper that rare few seconds in sport where we are all tingling with anticipation the adrenalin flowing the marvellous unpredictability the big question what happens next asked commentator Adam Smith but it could easily have been Nelson to his director What happened next was that the impossible happened Fury won and there was a victory for Nelson as he actually finished a sentence without making a horlicks of it That reminds me I have another letter to send to Points of View I better sign this one Bruno B Witched Follow BelTel Sport How to Complain If you have a complaint about the editorial content of the Belfast Telegraph or Sunday Life then contact the Editor here If you are not satisfied with the response provided then you can contact the Independent Press Standards Organisation here From the web Sponsored Videos Your Comments COMMENT RULES Comments that are judged to be defamatory abusive or in bad taste are not acceptable and contributors who consistently fall below certain criteria will be permanently blacklisted The moderator will not enter into debate with individual contributors and the moderator s decision is final It is Belfast Telegraph policy to close comments on court cases tribunals and active legal investigations We may also close comments on articles which are being targeted for abuse Problems with commenting customercare belfasttelegraph co uk Powered by Livefyre Please enable JavaScript to view the comments powered by Livefyre Read More Dour Denver Broncos are sitting on top of the world after Super bowl win By Billy Weir As Europe s rugby finest battled it out for supremacy on the other side of the globe two groups of Americans locked horns to become poor man s rugby s world champions Six Nations a space oddity for the BBC and Tim Peake By Billy Weir A new season new managers a new channel new presenters and even a new frontier the Six Nations rugby is back but one old thing remains no matter who is playing you can guarantee England will Frost nosed celebrities can just go and take a jump By Billy Weir They came they saw they slid about a bit fell over wore daft outfits didn t conquer and they ll be back again next week Yes The Jump is back Being Butch helps in search for romance of the FA Cup By Billy Weir The FA Cup took centre stage at the weekend with the minnows given the chance to go Fourth and multiply but as it turned out the big fish had little to worry about Most Read Most Shared Most Commented Six Nations a space oddity for the BBC and Tim Peake Billy on the box He may be retired but champion jockey AP McCoy isn t shy Billy on the box Dour Denver Broncos are sitting on top of the world after Super bowl win Billy on the

    Original URL path: http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/sport/columnists/billy-on-the-box/glory-for-tyson-fury-but-no-victory-for-nelson-34254550.html (2016-02-15)
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  • Great Scot, Andy Murray is British after Davis Cup win - BelfastTelegraph.co.uk
    second before being taken to one side and told to slow things down a bit because BBC1 had some time to fill and a safely arrived James Martin had been pencilled in to play him with a frying pan in case he won the third before you could rustle up an omelette I don t know where you rank it in terms of team effort pondered Castle In football there was the World Cup in 1966 not GB there s Liverpool in the Champions League not GB and Man Utd not GB and the Ryder Cup Europe but this is right up there to win a Davis Cup Scotland Woooooooooo Great Britain have done it in the most spectacular style wailed Castle as the final point ensuring Tunnock s Tea Cake sales were about to rocket across Britain but there was still time for a small lecture Broadcast the message that tennis is great fun it s a game for life it s for boys and girls men and women for every class and every income across the country he said and we were with him right up to the last couple but let s not spoil the party To put my Scottish hat on for a second said Baker spoiling the party After the disappointment of the football and the rugby these two guys have won the World Cup of tennis We wish Jamie well in his new career as SNP ambassador to England Sue had made it down to court by now to join in on the party the WKD infused fans now so happy they were singing my theme tune again she said as walking in a Barker wonderland boomed out Barker Wonderland there s a theme park idea suggested Castle but at least it wasn t a Baker Wonderland Jamie Mary and James would all fly in for that one located in Scotland not in GB Follow BelTel Sport Related Content Glory for Fury but no victory for Nelson How to Complain If you have a complaint about the editorial content of the Belfast Telegraph or Sunday Life then contact the Editor here If you are not satisfied with the response provided then you can contact the Independent Press Standards Organisation here From the web Sponsored Videos Your Comments COMMENT RULES Comments that are judged to be defamatory abusive or in bad taste are not acceptable and contributors who consistently fall below certain criteria will be permanently blacklisted The moderator will not enter into debate with individual contributors and the moderator s decision is final It is Belfast Telegraph policy to close comments on court cases tribunals and active legal investigations We may also close comments on articles which are being targeted for abuse Problems with commenting customercare belfasttelegraph co uk Powered by Livefyre Please enable JavaScript to view the comments powered by Livefyre Read More Dour Denver Broncos are sitting on top of the world after Super bowl win By Billy Weir As Europe s

    Original URL path: http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/sport/columnists/billy-on-the-box/great-scot-andy-murray-is-british-after-davis-cup-win-34254553.html (2016-02-15)
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  • It's an El of a Saturday night - BelfastTelegraph.co.uk
    Camp Nou stadium in Barcelona Spain Tuesday Nov 24 2015 AP Photo Manu Fernandez BARCELONA SPAIN NOVEMBER 24 Gerard Pique C of Barcelona celebrates scoring his teams fourth goal with Luis Suarez L and Lionel Messi during the UEFA Champions League Group E match between FC Barcelona and AS Roma at Camp Nou on November 24 2015 in Barcelona Spain Photo by David Ramos Getty Images But Kate s problems were only starting as she handed over to our commentators Terry Gibson and Rob Palmer only for a brief moment of silence then a strange English voice that wasn t the likely lads Terry and Rob Err alright we re having a small issue contacting with Terry and Rob right now as Kate wondered whatever happened to them and Thierry and Aitor manfully filled the gap Alright let s get over to the commentary team for this one Kevin Keatings and Gerry Armstrong said Kate and we were left dangling as to the fate of Terry and Rob which looked about as rosy as Rafa Benitez s future when Luis Suarez gave Barca an early lead Just in case you ve joined the El Clasico late glad you ve managed to pull a seat up you re more than welcome said Kevin as the muffled screams of Senors Gibson and Palmer were drowned out by a second goal They re clutching at straws now they need a goal now to get back into this game said Arconada Armstrong giving us the sort of insight that Henry could only dream of It was catching by the end two more Barca goals had arrived Madrid fans were waving white flags like turkeys consigned to their fate on Christmas Eve and Kate was left to sum things up There s absolutely no doubt about it this is a huge win for Barcelona she told us and suddenly words like you know maybe Scott Minto wasn t that bad came flooding into the viewers minds Of course it wasn t the only battle of sporting cultures on Saturday night as Thierry s favourite city Dublin played host to a double header and we re not talking Gibson and Palmer here in the International Rules Series on RTE2 The Saturday Game became four games as hurling took on shinty and Gaelic football clashed with Aussie Rules with the build up remembering that first there was compromise and then there was no compromise Or in other words big hairy lads from Ireland were knocking the bejaysus out of even hairier lads from Australia and vice versa First up though was the shinty hurling game with protagonists given big sticks just to ensure more mayhem as former Ireland player Ollie Byrne remembered from a game in Scotland back in 1997 We had a few drinks the night before the match and we went out the following day and were told in no uncertain terms you don t treat this game with a lack of respect he said In other words they beat the beer out of you presenter Michael Lyster helpfully added Absolutely And a few colours of it came the reply Sadly they forgot to tell this year s teams who after a decent first half produced nothing of any note in the second They could have nipped off and watched El Clasico and come back on and nothing would have changed but in the end it was the Scots who were sent home to think again It looked to be the same in the clash of the footballs as Ireland looked to be strolling to victory before Australia made a comeback that Harold Bishop would have been proud of only to fall just short meaning Ireland had won in four sports in a little over four hours quite a feat Even Thierry would hand it to them Time to blow the whistle on Jeffries Normally on BBC NI when a programme called Whistle Blowers pops up you prepare yourself for a scary character spilling the beans on an organisation that is rightfully treated with contempt for their heinous crimes It was no different on Monday evening when True North s latest offering hit the screens with former Linfield boss David Jeffrey crossing over to the dark side to get to grips not literally with referees Let s get this straight I don t detest referees but sometimes I just can t help feeling like I do he began as we got an insight into the lives of two Irish League referees and two members of the unfairer sex starting off on their whistle stop tour Like him or loathe him Raymond Crangle s no nonsense approach to refereeing earns him some of the toughest matches in the Irish Premiership said the surprisingly excellent narrator Jeffrey or Jeffries as he continues to be called by the stupidly challenged I would quibble with the like him part of that statement only joking he s one of the better ones although that s a bit like admitting to your favourite One Direction song It s a war out there we re like the UN stuck in the middle of it said Crangle but I suppose that s what makes you beautiful but you re wrong some people like the UN Cohort Ian McNabb was seeking even greater rewards than the League Cup medal his senior friend in black was after a Uefa certificate to go in the wee BB mug that was sitting on the desk of his bedroom with a picture of Alan Snoddy on the wall in a tennis outfit I made that bit up McNabb was in Switzerland for the dreaded yo yo test you d have thought it would have been Toblerone but it was a test we ve all had trying the get the wrapper off a toffee one but always failing and getting a bit of silver paper hitting a filling This test meant running about aimlessly and getting out of breath

    Original URL path: http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/sport/columnists/billy-on-the-box/its-an-el-of-a-saturday-night-34235180.html (2016-02-15)
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  • Below-par Dubliners are badly off tune in Champions Cup - BelfastTelegraph.co.uk
    in his best Johnny Ball impression or is it Johnny Prolate Spheroid Either way it sounded a bit rude and Austin powered into overdrive suggesting that s what my doctor said and how his career had ended due to a prolapsed spheroid It was no laughing matter for Leinster and if the first period was bad the second was horrendous never mind Wasps scoring at will and home players falling like flies or bluebottles Eykyn was still insisting that they were called the Dubliners They are not The Dubliners are a diddly dee band of some repute while Leinster is a mighty province of 12 counties in the same way as Munster s demonym isn t the Limerickers or Ulster s the McCooeys Austin you re going to go all arts and crafts on us and draw some lines said Bayfield as enquiries began into the beating that had been carried out in broad daylight by the English oppressors on the banks of the Liffey I think the Dubliners may have a song about this Healey proceeded to go crazy with an IPad and graphics aplenty more arrows and lines than at the start of Dad s Army as he tried to make sense of it all and given his childish sniggering earlier we are to be grateful or disappointed that he resisted the urge to draw anything resembling prolate spheroids on the screen No bonus point then for the Dublin based team said Crimewatch s PC former PC Bayfield at the end but at least he resisted the temptation to tell them don t have nightmares Follow BelTel Sport How to Complain If you have a complaint about the editorial content of the Belfast Telegraph or Sunday Life then contact the Editor here If you are not satisfied with the response provided then you can contact the Independent Press Standards Organisation here From the web Sponsored Videos Your Comments COMMENT RULES Comments that are judged to be defamatory abusive or in bad taste are not acceptable and contributors who consistently fall below certain criteria will be permanently blacklisted The moderator will not enter into debate with individual contributors and the moderator s decision is final It is Belfast Telegraph policy to close comments on court cases tribunals and active legal investigations We may also close comments on articles which are being targeted for abuse Problems with commenting customercare belfasttelegraph co uk Powered by Livefyre Please enable JavaScript to view the comments powered by Livefyre Read More Dour Denver Broncos are sitting on top of the world after Super bowl win By Billy Weir As Europe s rugby finest battled it out for supremacy on the other side of the globe two groups of Americans locked horns to become poor man s rugby s world champions Six Nations a space oddity for the BBC and Tim Peake By Billy Weir A new season new managers a new channel new presenters and even a new frontier the Six Nations rugby is

    Original URL path: http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/sport/columnists/billy-on-the-box/belowpar-dubliners-are-badly-off-tune-in-champions-cup-34214353.html (2016-02-15)
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  • Sports Columnists - Billy on the Box - BelfastTelegraph.co.uk
    win over Larne in 1989 the list could go on and on There s no US Open fairytale ending in New York for Rodger Federer You may be down and out in Beverly Hills sleepless in Seattle be feared and loathed in Las Vegas or even dead in Denver but there s one gang in New York you don t want to be stuck with For eight hours Gary Lineker Ian Wright Alan Shearer and co s Saturday night throw back viewing There was a somewhat haughty and presumptuous proclamation over the weekend by the BBC that Saturday night means Match of the Day Strictly speaking all that glitters isn t always gold As I sit here struggling in vain to remove my glitter encrusted spandex trousers with the aid of the fire brigade a crowbar and an industrial size can of Swarfega for extra leverage it seems an apt time to welcome back Strictly Come Dancing Time to arise Sir Wayne Rooney and King Kyle Lafferty It has been a week of milestones and a time to celebrate the reign of a much loved if somewhat over hyped leader of a nation who gets paid an inordinate amount of money for doing very little and who we are expected to bow and curtsey to as a matter of course Doctor is acting the goat The word legend is bandied about far too much in sport these days but when one man can upstage Brad Pitt AP McCoy and Willie Thorne then it is a pretty open and shut case for me Rhinos a Peacock and a pair of gold Farahs It wasn t just on two wheels where we were to find legends of sport over the weekend but on very different fields No doubt about it Usain Bolt is just out of this world after World Athletics Championships It has all been a bit Back to the Future at the World Athletics Championships this week with lots of stellar performances but with the strange feeling that you ve seen this all before A small Spanish step for Sky another Galaxy for Geoff Shreeves It s all change at Sky as La Liga returned at the weekend and with those pesky kids at BT Sport scampering off with the big European games they were making a song and flamenco about it Gary Lineker makes BT Sport debut but Memphis Depay has a ball We should have known there was a new era of European football afoot when hot footing it onto our screens was a new sponsor at the start of BT Sport Europe s first big night and given all those feet it was apt that it was for Walkers The A to Z of big return to Premier League circus It only seems seconds since we worried would John Terry hand back the big silvery trophy with the blue ribbons on it Man Utd fans wondered just how high would Louis van Gaal s forehead stretch into

    Original URL path: http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/sport/columnists/billy-on-the-box/?page=2 (2016-02-15)
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