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  • The Icing On The Cake! – Simon Whaley
    For A Community Project Ten Teatime Tales Best Walks in the Welsh Borders The Bluffer s Guide To Hiking 100 Greatest Walks In Britain The Little Book Of Alternative Garden Wisdom The Bluffer s Guide To Banking The Freelance Photographer s Project Book Chapter 18 100 Stories For Queensland Photography Greetings Cards Short Stories Read Short Stories Writing Courses Writers Resources Info for Writers Competition Judging Links The Icing On The Cake By simonwhaley On 6 May 2014 In NEWS Short Stories Check out the June 2014 issue of Women s Weekly Fiction Special which carries my short story The Icing On The Cake I d wanted nothing but the best for my daughter on her special day Instead it had been a near disaster A letter is called for a stiff one Share this Click to share on Twitter Opens in new window Click to share on Facebook Opens in new window Click to share on Google Opens in new window Click to share on LinkedIn Opens in new window Click to share on Pinterest Opens in new window Like this Like Loading Woman s Weekly Previous Writing Magazine Business of Writing Series continues Next Clee St Margaret Comments are closed Welcome Click on the photo to find out About Me More links NEWS Free Downloads Mindful Moment Search this site Recent Updates A Positively Productive Review 15 February 2016 Frozen Flow 15 February 2016 Teme Twister 14 February 2016 Slowing Up 13 February 2016 Weaving Water 12 February 2016 Publications Amateur Photographer BBC Countryfile BBC Midlands Today BBC One o clock News Best of British Country Border Life Country Walking Cumbria Daily Telegraph Discover Britain Ezee Writer Freelance Market News Great Walks Australia Holiday Cottages Lakeland Walker Outdoor Photography Outdoor Pursuits That s Life Fast Fiction The Author

    Original URL path: http://www.simonwhaley.co.uk/the-icing-on-the-cake/ (2016-02-17)
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  • Wave To The Camera! – Simon Whaley
    something We all know it s Marcus so why don t we have it out with him Suddenly there was a thunder of footsteps down the stairs followed by the slamming of the front door Jess jumped to look out of the kitchen window Yep That s Marcus running across the campus His first tutorial is not for another hour yet He clearly didn t fancy breakfasting with us said Kirsty That s because he had his breakfast at two o clock this morning Jess replied In that case we need to catch Marcus in the act said Ed and I have just the plan But I ll need to borrow some equipment from the computer lab first Can you all meet me back here after the first tutorial Yes the girls agreed in unison Two hours later Ed and the girls were back sitting around the kitchen table I ve taken this empty orange juice carton said Ed and installed a small camera inside If you look carefully you can just see the lens through the hole in the e of the word juice here That s so tiny said Jess I wouldn t have spotted it That s the point continued Ed But the really clever stuff is the sensor on the back of the carton here Hang on a minute Lisa queried If you re going to place the carton at the back of the fridge then the hidden camera needs to be pointing towards the fridge door That means that your sensor will be facing the back of the fridge How s that going to detect movement if the sensor is facing the wrong way It s not a movement sensor Ed clarified but a light sensor What s the first thing that happens when you open the fridge door The light comes on all three girls screamed Exactly So when the fridge door is opened the light comes on the sensor on the back of the carton detects this and turns on the camera When the camera is working this chip here transmits the images to our laptops so we can all see what s going on Brilliant said Kirsty Marcus has no way of getting round this one now Ed took the carton to the fridge placed it at the back of the top shelf and closed the door Suddenly they heard the front door slam Marcus Is that you Lisa yelled Marcus poked his head around the kitchen door What have I done now You know exactly what ve you ve done and you owe us an apology snapped Kirsty What for Nicking my bacon And my cheese Ed chipped in I bet it was you who stole my chocolate said Lisa No way I haven t taken anybody s food and that s the truth Marcus Jess joined in we know it was you Just admit it I m not admitting to something I haven t done Marcus told her If all

    Original URL path: http://www.simonwhaley.co.uk/wave-to-the-camera/ (2016-02-17)
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  • What Comes After The Naughty Step? – Simon Whaley
    step suggested Sophie That really works with mine The naughty step is about all that works but only when one of them is playing up The problem I ve got in the mornings is that they both wind each other up and if I punish one then I really should punish the other shouldn t I That s what those programmes say treat them equally but fairly The sound of a plate smashing on the floor followed by a scream shot out through the gap in the front door Matthew went to jump down from the wall but Sophie grabbed his arm No leave them she said But I ought to check they re okay If they ve really hurt themselves they know where to find you They ll soon come running and screaming Leave them to it Remember what that woman on Little Angels says Bad behaviour gets attention Try to ignore them when they re like this and reward them with your attention when they do behave Matthew started laughing At this rate I ll never speak to them again Do you use a sticker chart Sophie asked I ve thought about it But I can just see the arguments it would cause when one of them didn t get as many stickers as the other It always surprises me how competitive they are at their age Sophie nodded There s four years between my two but they still think they know better than the other The sticker system works for me but you have to be strong Give them some chores to do and then reward them with a sticker when they do it nicely and calmly Chores Chores You re joking aren t you My two wouldn t dream of doing chores said Matthew They expect to be waited on as if I m their servant jumping to their every need Look I m not saying it ll be easy but give the sticker chart system a try It probably took me three weeks to get mine running properly but now they know what to do it gets done quickly and quietly It took me ages to draw up a rota mainly because you can never find pen and paper in our house when you need them But now they just get on with it One washes up whilst the other dries up and puts everything away Then the following week they swap over Matthew closed his eyes Are you okay Sophie enquired He nodded his head I m just trying to imagine what our house would be like if I could get them to do that The tinkling of another plate smashing echoed through the front door Matthew jumped off the wall I d better go they re obviously not calming down Sophie jumped down too and took his hand No leave them I know it s difficult but you ve got to let them be responsible for their own actions Supernanny says you mustn

    Original URL path: http://www.simonwhaley.co.uk/what-comes-after-the-naughty-step/ (2016-02-17)
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  • The Wedding Crashers – Simon Whaley
    and ruined as I continued falling And that was before the official photos too The bride and groom haven t spoken to me since Zac laughed then winced when his chuckle reached his forehead My first wedding which I detested was when I was four he remembered An older cousin wanted me as a page boy and I was dressed up in a sailor s outfit It was awful Walking up the aisle behind the bride carrying her dress I spotted my mum and ran to her Except I forgot to drop the dress and it got caught on the end of a pew The next thing I knew my cousin fell backwards onto the floor That s not a good introduction to weddings Laura sympathised She rubbed her toes again to wash away the latest pulse of pain So why were you arguing with the usher just now You mean why wasn t I looking where I was going when I trod on your toes Laura nodded The usher asked which side I wanted bride or groom and I said I was here for Batman s wedding Batman It s a nickname he s had since school Zac explained The usher gave me this puzzled look so I said I was here for Bex s groom but he must have misheard and assumed I was from Bex s side of the family and directed me here I should be the other side though I don t think it really matters said Laura You call her Bex do you I ve always known her as Beccy Mind you it s been a few years since we last met I used to go to school with Beccy I think she only invited me because we recently found each other on Facebook I don t really know why I m here when I haven t seen her since she left to go to Uni especially as like you weddings and I don t get on Zac tried peering over the heads of the people in front There s a good few here isn t there I can t see Batman anywhere He d better be at the front with his best man Suddenly the organist played the chords to Here Comes The Bride The entire congregation rose to their feet and turned to look at the back of the church In front of the bride and her father were two young girls throwing rose petals onto the floor Laura grabbed Zac s arm to pull him closer and whispered I had to do that once when I was eight at an aunt s wedding The only problem was the rose perfume made me sneeze every time I threw a handful of petals onto the floor The bride s father who was behind me slipped on a petal and knocked himself unconscious when his head hit the floor We re not good omens for weddings are we Zac grinned At that moment Laura

    Original URL path: http://www.simonwhaley.co.uk/the-wedding-crashers/ (2016-02-17)
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  • It’s A Good Life If You Don’t Weaken – Simon Whaley
    good life if you don t weaken and there are plenty of other things to keep you occupied I think the bath needs a really good clean when you re ready love I might take a dip tonight if the Nurse lets me but only if it s clean And you know what those doctors said Until we know what caused that allergic reaction and my collapse the house has to be spotless Plugging the vacuum into the socket I kicked the power switch and began sucking anything and everything off the carpet If only I could suck George out of my life Then I could sit down and savour my cake spend an hour relaxing in an aromatic bath book a holiday and find a life again George has always been one for being waited on hand and foot and if ever I ve mentioned wanting some time to myself out trot those flipping words The trouble is now I ve heard them so many times I believe them If George found out that I d taken five minutes to myself I d never hear the end of it I m not sure if it is a good life but if I were to weaken for five minutes my life wouldn t be worth living It was whilst collecting his fishing bait from his favourite tackle shop some twenty miles away when I got the phone call I dread it whenever my mobile rings It s usually George demanding that I collect something else on my way home despite it being miles out of my way When I picked up the phone I saw it was George s number and I know I snapped when I answered it Only it wasn t George on the other end of the line It was some paramedic called Terry He said George had collapsed in town and they were rushing him to the City Hospital I don t know what he was doing there and when I got to the hospital George couldn t remember either Suddenly the vacuum died on me and I saw George holding the plug I can t hear the telly Well you asked me to vacuum I know but this is my favourite programme Go and run the vacuum around upstairs for half and hour I m sure the District Nurse won t be here yet I used to watch this I claimed watching the opening titles scroll Why don t we sit down and watch it together It s a good life Liz if you don t weaken he said with a pathetic grin handing me the plug Snatching it from him I turned and lugged the vacuum up the stairs When the doctors finally diagnosed George we were dumbstruck He d suffered some kind of allergic shock He could ve died had the ambulance not arrived quickly They don t know yet what caused it but apparently the body can develop an allergy at any

    Original URL path: http://www.simonwhaley.co.uk/its-a-good-life-if-you-dont-weaken/ (2016-02-17)
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  • Competition Shortlisting – Simon Whaley
    Stories My short story Toe Dipping was short listed in the Write Space Moving On competition The judge prolific short story writer and novelist Della Galton said I know you didn t ask for a critique but because this story was so high in our shortlist I thought I might give you one anyway It might be helpful to know why you didn t quite make it through because in many a competition I ve judged this one would have been placed in the top three This was a lovely setting your characters are very well drawn and the message is good too I also liked the High Tide Low Tide structure So why didn t it win Well I have to be honest and say that it was mostly because the standard of this competition was incredibly high Share this Click to share on Twitter Opens in new window Click to share on Facebook Opens in new window Click to share on Google Opens in new window Click to share on LinkedIn Opens in new window Click to share on Pinterest Opens in new window Like this Like Loading Previous New Photos Available on Alamy Next 15th April 2011 New Photos on Alamy 2 Comments Add Comment Alison Runham Well done Simon High praise indeed I ve got Della s How to Write and Sell Short Stories which is great lots of info about short story structure If she thinks your story was good you don t need anyone else s say so 12 April 2011 Reply Catherine Miller What a lovely comment from the judge Well done Simon 12 April 2011 Reply Leave a Reply Cancel reply Welcome Click on the photo to find out About Me More links NEWS Free Downloads Mindful Moment Search this site Recent

    Original URL path: http://www.simonwhaley.co.uk/competition-shortlisting/ (2016-02-17)
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  • Double Word-Score Winner – Simon Whaley
    t around to train me But as the weeks passed Jock continued to beat me and each game became more of a battle Despite using words that Esther liked such as QI and KA which means a spirit of a loved one I could never reach the really big scores and beat Jock It began to affect me All I could think about was Scrabble and trying to win a game It would keep me awake at night although I must have slept at some point because Esther would often visit me in my dreams Bleary eyed and with a fuzzy head I d wandered down to the Leaky Tap and ordered mine and Jock s usual tipple We don t normally see you here on a Thursday said Harry Thursday It s Friday surely I m afraid it s definitely Thursday Angus No wonder you can t beat Jock if you can t remember what day of the week it is Stand more chance of winning today then don t I Ah well just give me my usual then please Perhaps I can think of a way to beat Jock whilst I sup it He always wins doesn t he I nodded to Harry as I supped my pint Giving me restless nights now it is My brains so fuddled I can t keep track of what day of the week it is Never beat him like that will I Harry looked up and down the pub and then waved his head towards the end of the bar where it was quieter Intrigued I followed him down there You know he cheats don t you Who Jock Jock Never He does Angus I ve seen him do it But how His picks his letters whilst you re adding his new points to his score doesn t he Yeah Takes me ages sometimes I have to concentrate so hard Never liked numbers me Sometimes I take so long he s already thought of his next word before I ve finished adding his points and started thinking about my turn That s how he does it Whilst you re busy adding up numbers you don t see him choose his letters If he picks something he doesn t like like an X or a Q he puts it back and chooses another He doesn t He does Angus Think about it Do you always get the Q s As I drank my pint I began to think back and realised it was true The only way that could happen was if Jock was cheating The canny little blighter Harry Quite clever really when you think about it Here you don t fancy helping me get my own back do you Harry winked at me Angus it would be a pleasure Our game continued as normal Jock kept getting the words on the high scoring squares whilst I fumbled about with the K s and M s and X s His score

    Original URL path: http://www.simonwhaley.co.uk/double-word-score-winne/ (2016-02-17)
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  • The Good Life – Simon Whaley
    re ready love I might take a dip tonight if the Nurse lets me but only if it s clean And you know what those doctors said Until we know what caused that allergic reaction and my collapse the house has to be spotless Plugging the vacuum into the socket I kicked the power switch and began sucking anything and everything off the carpet If only I could suck George out of my life Then I could sit down and savour my cake spend an hour relaxing in an aromatic bath book a holiday and find a life again George has always been one for being waited on hand and foot and if ever I ve mentioned wanting some time to myself out trot those flipping words The trouble is now I ve heard them so many times I believe them If George found out that I d taken five minutes to myself I d never hear the end of it I m not sure if it is a good life but if I were to weaken for five minutes my life wouldn t be worth living It was whilst collecting his fishing bait from his favourite tackle shop some twenty miles away when I got the phone call I dread it whenever my mobile rings It s usually George demanding that I collect something else on my way home despite it being miles out of my way When I picked up the phone I saw it was George s number and I know I snapped when I answered it Only it wasn t George on the other end of the line It was some paramedic called Terry He said George had collapsed in town and they were rushing him to the City Hospital I don t know what he was doing there and when I got to the hospital George couldn t remember either Suddenly the vacuum died on me and I saw George holding the plug I can t hear the telly Well you asked me to vacuum I know but this is my favourite programme Go and run the vacuum around upstairs for half and hour I m sure the District Nurse won t be here yet I used to watch this I claimed watching the opening titles scroll Why don t we sit down and watch it together It s a good life Liz if you don t weaken he said with a pathetic grin handing me the plug Snatching it from him I turned and lugged the vacuum up the stairs When the doctors finally diagnosed George we were dumbstruck He d suffered some kind of allergic shock He could ve died had the ambulance not arrived quickly They don t know yet what caused it but apparently the body can develop an allergy at any time Well George is certainly allergic to housework In fact he s allergic to lifting a finger Pushing the vacuum into the bathroom the state of the bath was

    Original URL path: http://www.simonwhaley.co.uk/a-good-life/ (2016-02-17)
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