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  • Trishna: Movie Review | Suze Reviews
    is memorable apart from the damn name Pity Trishna Freida Pinto is happily pursuing her mundane existence in Ossian a bleak rurality of Rajasthan working for the family business and playing dress up for faceless tourists in a local hotel She meets libidinous Jay Riz Ahmed a British educated Indian playing tour guide for his waggish mates on hols from the mother country Jay who is burdened with the task of operating his own hotel for his exacting father invites Trishna to come and work for him When a car crash immobilises her father and jeopardises the family income Trishna accepts Jay s offer An awkward relationship ensues where Jay intermittently gives Trishna her dreams before robbing her of them Jay introduces her to a world full of interesting people fascinating places and boundless opportunities then returns her to a life of oppressive servitude Finally Krishna gets fed up with all the incessant tray carrying he makes her do and she does what any of us would when we do all the work while our partners laze around reading books and demanding lots of inappropriate sex she loses her shit which ultimately destroys them both Director Michael Winterbottom presents an eclectic India that looks exactly as it really is filthy barren and hostile but wonderfully charismatic and dynamic The sunset against sandstone buildings the colourful saris against the dusty landscape rubbish clinging hopelessly to small scrappy bushes all depict an honest impression of rural India As Trishna Freida Pinto emerges from the bleakness like a fragile swallowtail She is absolutely breathtakingly gorgeous hotter than a Bhut Jolokia infusing a natural warmth and serenity into her character Her sensitive wide eyed naivety makes her appear vulnerable and tender yet simmering with competence There is plenty to like about this film apart

    Original URL path: http://www.suze.co.uk/trishna-movie-review/ (2016-04-26)
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  • The Lucky One: Movie Review | Suze Reviews
    I just want to serve him up on toast and eat him for BREAKFAST and it s got some girl in it too but she is WAY not that good looking not like Zac Efron who is just GOOOOOOOOORGEOUS I mean she s got nice legs but she totes needs to get her roots redone and I just know I saw some grey hairs and she s got the world s WORST dress sense and she s got a kid and everything so she would SO not really be Zac s type and he is so HOT especially when he s wearing that cute army outfit and being so TOUGH and BRAVE and STRONG and OMG Zac Efron you can save me any time And he is just so sweet and smart cos he knows smart stuff called phallusophy and plays the piano and puppies like him and he almost choked a little kid but he DIDN T MEAN TO It wasn t his fault OMG SPOILER ALERT And you get to see BUTT CHEEK He has the CUTEST butt cheek dimples You just HAVE TO GO and see The Lucky One Go see it now now NOW GO GO GO OMG OMG OMG For everyone else It s vapid bilge Okay perhaps that s a little unfair The Lucky One is the usual thin predictable over sentimental boy meets girl story with a sweet romantic feel to it but no real substance Nothing is impressionable and everything is disposable leaden issues are handled with flippant haughtiness and dubious character traits serve as signposts dotted along a trail of unreality Fans of the romance genre and the maturing Zac Efron as Logan Thibault may find some enjoyment in The Lucky One but even they will undoubtedly find this film to

    Original URL path: http://www.suze.co.uk/the-lucky-one-movie-review/ (2016-04-26)
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  • StreetDance 2: Movie Review | Suze Reviews
    by Matt Damon s lazy eye in his quest to defeat the mostest awesomest street dancers on the planet Invincible in the world championships or summink in Paris But he only has six weeks to do it He hooks up with Eddie who appeared in the first movie but now looks like that Kurt kid from Glee and together they do a quick whip around Europe plucking more lookalikes Amy Winehouse and the Asian kids from Glee nepotism who just happen to have nothing better to do than leave their jobs families personalbelongings and shack up together in a groovy dorm that just somehow appears and don t worry about money or stuff like that cos this is a movie right And you just have that movie magic stuff like So anyways they find saucy minx Eva Sofia Boutella and they convince her to join their crew even though she s like yeah no whatevs okay and her uncle is Tom Conti and he lets them train in his club and they do lots of cool dance stuff until you re like golly glee this dance scene seems to be going on a bit and then they start acting and you re like go back to the dancing go back to the dancing and it s all good StreetDance 2 has more cheese than a cheesy cheeseball served on a cheese plate with cheese sauce and a side of cream cheese But y know homies there s no swearing no violence no sex so the kids are gonna hate it just a smidge of breathy heavy petting And the dancing is totes shoulder poppin quite literally from beginning to end It s far from being the best film ever made but it certainly isn t the worst Battlefield Earth is

    Original URL path: http://www.suze.co.uk/streetdance-2-movie-review/ (2016-04-26)
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  • Spud: Movie Review | Suze Reviews
    the cruel truth that being a loser inevitably condemns him to a career in the arts Sorry mate Fortunately help is at hand in the form of John Cleese lucky bugger I wish I d had John Cleese as my English teacher or Sting come to think of it who guides little Spuddy through the precarious grasslands of teenage shrubbery with lifesaving parachute drops of literature In other words Cleese loans Spud some awesome books with coolio messages that help him ease the pain of adolescence Spud learns some key lessons about growing up girls and friendship and that sometimes the harshest education doesn t come from school but from that greatest of all sneaky educators life Based on the best selling novel by John van de Ruit Spud is an ambrosial comedy about the enduring need for peer acceptance and approval The unforgiving nature of the boarding school fraternity provides a marvellous setting for the study of boyish inner conflict especially against the backdrop of an emerging post apartheid South Africa The treatment of the sordid goings on within the school are so realistic that you ll be grateful that Smell O Vision never proved popular The characterisation is

    Original URL path: http://www.suze.co.uk/spud-movie-review/ (2016-04-26)
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  • The Lorax: Movie Review | Suze Reviews
    air Which has to be purchased From Trump esque O Hare The city is framed By HUGE metal walls No one s been past them Until nature calls Ted Ted Ted Wiggins There s something you need You must find the Once ler He ll give you a seed So Grammy tells Ted About who he must find And when Betty White speaks You d best pay her mind And yay Here s the Once ler Oh no no NO Ted The Once ler won t help him He tells stories instead He speaks of the day When he cruised into town Chop chop chop CHOP His first tree felled down The Lorax appears He s the keeper of trees It s just Danny DeVito Drawn to scale if you please The Lorax is shocked By this unfriendly act The greed The atrocity So the two make a pact To protect the environment But the Once ler OH NO He s too tempted by greed So ALL the trees go It s here that the film Gets a little bogged down As the tree hugger message Goes around and around Some facts Some facts To explain conservation Would alert the audience To O Hare s motivation That trees help us breathe Is not clear at the start So getting the message Is a little bit hard For the pip squeakest viewers Who might need some more clues To see the BIG picture Of why trees are good news But wait Don t go yet I ve much more to say Animation One liners And the jokes are okay But my time has ended The credits must roll I don t do star ratings But here s what I know It s a colourful fable A tale to behold A magical

    Original URL path: http://www.suze.co.uk/the-lorax-movie-review/ (2016-04-26)
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  • Suze Reviews
    Movie Reviews 0 comments If you aren t aware of Sigmund Freud Carl Jung or psychoanalysis then this film will baffle the pants off you Like a tired lecture from a crumbling academic A Dangerous Method assumes that you already know a thing or two about its subject and doesn t bother to provide you with a little heads up info to get you started But beginners shouldn t feel alarmed watching this film doesn t bring anything new to those Read More 21 Jump Street Movie Review Posted by Suze on Mar 9 2012 in Movie Reviews 0 comments At times earning a living in Hollywood must be like working in a cemetery where wannabe production assistants roam the bowels of Tinseltown plundering the graves of old television shows films ideas and passing trends in the hope of regurgitating them to make a quick movie buck For this reason Hollywood can suck like an anaemic vampire breathing grim beats of life into old classics before bloodletting them all over again for a new Read More Romantics Anonymous Les Émotifs Anonymes Movie Review Posted by Suze on Mar 8 2012 in Movie Reviews 0 comments Facing bankruptcy panophobic Jean René Van Den Hugde Benoît Poelvoorde hires shy over emotional Angélique Delange Isabelle Carré to help revive sales in his ailing chocolate factory Unbeknownst to him Delange is a world class chocolatier who is terrified that someone will discover her precious talents Her secret is uncovered the company is saved and the pathologically challenged pair fall awkwardly into a vat of absurd Read More The Deep Blue Sea 2011 Movie Review Posted by Suze on Mar 4 2012 in Movie Reviews 0 comments Set in gloomy post war London The Deep Blue Sea captures the haunting sultriness of stereotypical Britain in a way that only the Brits seem to know how The film is a screen adaptation of Terence Rattigan s 1952 play of the same name bringing with it all of the ache and misery of its day like a loathsome cloak of whinge worn by a bitter Pom in summer The story is simple and achromatic with the aid of pensive flashbacks It Read More What Makes France So French by Andra Paddio Book Review Posted by Suze on Mar 2 2012 in Book Reviews 0 comments This is the charming tale of Canadian mum from the suburbs Andra Paddio who is seduced by the lure of faraway France What Makes France So French the first book in the A Dare to Dream Passport To France series is the realisation of the journey that finally gets her there Paddio s story begins during her childhood years when her youthful obsession with all things French emerges The voice of her adolescent self is captured Read More Harry Cocque That s Reet Boy by Colin Baines Book Review Posted by Suze on Mar 2 2012 in Book Reviews 0 comments Full of lewd innuendo eccentric characterisation and bawdy imagery Baines collection

    Original URL path: http://www.suze.co.uk/page/6/ (2016-04-26)
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